


Just Give Me A Reason

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: You agree to help your friend, neighbor, and longtime crush, Dean get a coveted promotion by attending his bosses Christmas party as his wife.  What could possibly go wrong?





	Just Give Me A Reason

You had known as soon as you had agreed that this was a mistake. There was no way this idea was ever gonna work without someone, well, you, getting hurt but when it came to your friend and neighbor Dean Winchester you just couldn’t say no. You had known him for 3 years, 9 months, 17 days and about 14 hours and you had been in love with him for him 3 years, 9 months, 17 days and about 13 hours and 45 minutes. Not that you would EVER tell him that. You had seen him with a string of women over the years and he definitely had a type and that type was certainly not you. Oh no, you got to play the role of friend who he came to for advice on women and you had accepted that was all you would ever be. Totally friend zoned. Only now you weren’t even that anymore. You should never have agreed to help him out, this was one favour too far and it had resulted in… inevitable disaster? Heartbreak? The irreconcilable breakdown of a treasured friendship? All of the above. Pouring yourself another very large glass of wine you sighed, wiping at the tears that were once again slipping silently down your face as they had been doing for the past 24 hours. The events of the past weekend played over and over in your mind and you swiftly knocked back the alcohol to help you forget. 

“Please.” He begged dramatically, even getting down on his knees. “If I have any chance at all of getting this promotion over Jenkins then I need you.” Rolling your eyes you huffed as you folded your arms across your chest. This was a huge ask. Dean had been trying to get promoted for the past 12 months but his boss seemed to favour married men, claiming that they were more stable with the support of a good woman and so Dean had created a fake wife to drop into conversation occasionally, even keeping a picture of the two of you on his desk to help his charade which had been working fine right up until Mr Wallender had invited him and his ‘wife’ to his annual Christmas party at a hotel he booked out exclusively each year. So here he was, finally coming clean about his deceit and praying that you would play along. The desperate look in his eye was enough to get you to break.

“You owe me so fucking much Winchester.” You sigh as he jumped to his feet and picked you up, spinning you round in celebration. “Why am I regretting this already?” you deadpanned as he placed you back on the ground and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head causing a fluttering in your stomach.

“You are the most amazing woman ever.” He grinned and then began to go through the details of the weekend.

The taxi pulled up outside the quaint hotel as the clock rolled over to 11 am and you glanced across at Dean who was white as a sheet. He had so much riding on this weekend and you wanted to put him at ease no matter how much this was going to kill you. Taking his hand in yours you smile sweetly at him as he raised your hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles right next to the simple gold band he had given you as a fake wedding ring to match the one currently on his finger. “You ready honey?” there was a false bravado in his voice that you could see through immediately. 

“We’ve got this Mr Winchester.” You assured him with more confidence than you felt. Exiting the car he took your bags and you followed him up the steps to the front door. As soon as you entered the foyer a booming voice echoed around the space.

“Dean my boy! And this must be the lovely Mrs Winchester, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, my dear.” A man in his early sixties strode over to you both, a wide amiable grin on his face and a large glass of whiskey in his hand. His cheeks were a little flushed and you wondered how many drinks he had already finished.

“Hi Sir, this is Emma” Dean placed a hand around your waist, pulling you into his side protectively and you smiled. 

“We’ve heard so much about you but I was beginning to think he’d made you up. Nobody can be as perfect as he makes out but then here you are.” Mr Wallender took your hand and placed a soft kiss before winking at Dean. Extracting yourself from his presence with the excuse of booking in Dean kept his arm around you all the way to the desk and when he realised you were still under observation he leaned over and kissed the top of your head affectionately. 

“The old man’s watching.” He hummed through a tight smile at the receptionist and you leaned into him, slowly running your hand down over his lower back before it came to rest on that unbelievably perfect ass of his. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you from the corner of his eye with a smirk.

“Gotta sell it, tiger.” You smile up at him with an adoring look. Mr Wallender watched the exchange and smiled to himself, you two were an adorable couple.

“You are worrying about nothing Dean.” You reassure him for the millionth time. The day had been eventful and you had both played your parts so well that at times it even fooled you. There had been the ladies spa session while the men played cards and it seemed that Mr and Mrs Wallender seemed to have taken a shine to the pair of you earning you at least two invitations to the country club. Standing in front of him now, patiently fixing his crooked tie, you wondered how long you would have to keep up this charade. “We’ve got this Winchester. We make a good team.”

“Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?” he asked with a crooked smile as you felt your cheeks flush. “Thank you for all this. I know this probably isn’t your idea of a great weekend but…”

“You mean free spa treatments and a swanky party with free booze? Nah, this is such a hardship.” You deadpan earning a chuckle from him that made your heart flip.

“Showtime.” He said offering his arm to you and leading you out of the room to the extravaganza being hosted downstairs.

The food was exquisite, the décor breathtaking and the company wasn’t too shabby either. Standing by the bar you watched Dean chatting to some company bigwigs across the dancefloor and you felt a swell of pride rise in your chest. “So you’re Dean’s wife then?” A deep voice broke through your thoughts and you turned to the stranger and smiled.

“Yep, that’s me. Mrs Dean Winchester.” You nodded at the tall, fair man in front of you whose smile reminded you of something you couldn’t quite put your finger on but it was not pleasant.

“Thomas Jenkins.” He offered his hand and you wracked your brain to try and place the name. “I had thought Dean had just made up a wife to get ahead, there didn’t seem to be a wedding or any announcement, you were just there one day. When he said he was bringing you my first thought was that he had hired someone to play the part but then he’s got that photo on his desk so my question is, who are you really to him?” You look up at him in indignation.

“Well aren’t you just the epitome of charm. How many of your other colleague's wives have you accused of being escorts or is that just me?” You bristled when he laid his hand on your arm and tilted his head towards the dance floor. “What makes you think I want to dance with you?”

“We need to talk somewhere we are unlikely to be interrupted but if we sneak off together then rumors will fly and I will not let you be the downfall of my career.” His bright smile in total contrast to his tone which indicated something far more sinister. Curiosity got the better of you, you needed to know what this guy was up to, and so you let him lead you to the dancefloor.

His hand was on your waist before you could react and he pulled you a little too close for comfort. To any casual observer, you looked like two people enjoying a relatively slow dance but you both knew differently. “So, I know you aren’t his wife. I’ve done my research on Mr Winchester and I am on to you two. You might as well make this easier on him and confess now.”

“Dean Winchester is the love of my life.” You hiss at him through your smile and his eyes study yours, looking for a hint of a lie. He is a little taken aback when he finds no indication that your words are anything but the truth and you use this to your advantage. “I don’t know what you ‘think’ you know Mr Jenkins but you are definitely on the wrong track. I am so happy to call that man my husband you have no idea. I suggest, Mr Jenkins, that you make this easier on yourself and concentrate on your work capabilities instead of creating false accusations in an attempt to bring others down.” This earned you a nod from him before you felt his hand moving lower down your back and dangerously close to… before it could reach his intended destination, however, a firm hand had grabbed his arm whilst another span you away from Jenkins grasp.

“You touch her again Jenkins and I swear I will not be accountable for my actions.” Dean snarled.

“She came on to me man.” He held his hands up in mock surrender as your jaw dropped at his blatant lie. Dean raised his fist and you swiftly grabbed his arm to prevent him from doing anything he couldn’t come back from. Turning to you he glared, a look of betrayal in his eyes before he stormed off, through the terrace doors and into the garden. 

“Stay away from me.” You yelled back at Jenkins before hurrying after Dean. Surely he couldn’t believe that loser? Surely he knew you better than that.

“Dean,” you hesitantly approach him, reaching out a hand to rest lightly on his shoulder. He turned and for a moment you thought he was going to shout at you. “However incredibly sweet it was having you defend my honour like that I don’t think it’s done your career much good.” You can tell he is avoiding your gaze so you place your warm hands on his cheeks, cupping his face, bringing it almost nose to nose with your own. “What the hell Winchester?” you whisper.

“I just couldn’t stand by and watch him with his hands on you like that and…”

“Dean, we were dancing, nothing more.” You sigh and you feel his hands resting on your hips.

“I know. I know that but…” He looked at you with such desperation and you wondered how his sentence was going to finish. The first flakes of snow begun to fall, landing on the ground around you and in your hair, causing goosebumps to appear over your exposed flesh and yet you didn’t feel the cold. As you stared into Deans dazzling green eyes that brimmed with so many emotions the rest of the world faded into blankness around you. Unable to find the right words Dean leaned forward a fraction, his eyes searching yours for permission before he pressed his incredibly soft lips to your own in a sweet, gentle kiss that you could get lost in.

“I…I can’t..” the mumble coming from the man sleeping next to you had brought you out of your light slumber and you replied before you realised he was still unconscious.

“What? What’s can’t you do Dean?” you yawn before opening an eye to glance at him, the corners of your lips twitching up as you realised he was still fast asleep.

“I can’t do this y/n…” you heart dropped. Whatever he was dreaming about he was telling you no and your brow furrowed but before you could ask him for further information he began to mumble again. “… I love you but I can’t.” He rolled over and the babbling became soft snores as you lay staring at the back of his head. You mind span as you tried to process his words. He loved you? That couldn’t be right, you must have misheard. Turning to rest on your back your eyes trailed over the ceiling in the dim light of early morning as you played through the many possibilities of what Dean could have meant. Of course, it had been in his sleep so that didn’t mean it was how he really felt. After what felt like an eternity you shifted on to your side, facing away from him and closed your eyes, willing sleep to take you but your body had decided to mimic the effect of drinking 17 cans of Red Bull and just as you were about to give up all hope you felt a strong arm come to rest over you, pulling you back into the warmth of an all-consuming embrace. Deans leg tangled with yours and you felt him nuzzling your hair and humming contentedly before the light snoring once more took over. Your body stilled and it was almost as if this was exactly where you were meant to be. It wasn’t too long before you drifted off with a soft smile on your face as you melted into him.

Dean woke with you snuggled in close to him and he smiled softly. This felt good, he could definitely get used to this. Then he reminded himself that he couldn’t, that you weren’t his to keep. Rolling onto his back he let out a sigh, torn between enfolding you in his arms again and the need for self-preservation. His restlessness won out and carefully he climbed out of bed. Looking at you sleeping so peacefully with a soft smile on your lips his heart hurt. Why had he thought he could do this? Throwing on some clothes he made his way down to the bar to get a drink or six, anything to distract him.

Your peacefulness didn’t last, unfortunately. Your subconscious felt it the perfect opportunity to plague your dreams with a sense of foreboding and you found your dream self-wandering down dark corridors, a feeling of dread growing in your stomach as you frantically searched for Dean. Panic caused your chest to constrict as your feet pounded the floor, running down the endless hallways until eventually, you woke with a start, fresh tear tracks on your cheeks. Sitting bolt upright you struggled to get your breathing under control and so it took you a moment to realise that the bed beside you was not only empty but cold. The emotions from your nightmare washed into reality and you threw on some sweatpants and a hoodie once you had discovered Dean was nowhere to be found in your room. Wondering if he had maybe gone down to the pool or the bar you headed towards the elevator, frantically pushing the call button, unable to shake the worry from your dream.

All through the descent, you fought to gain control over your breathing and by the time the doors slid open to reveal the lobby you thought you had is in hand. Your frantic breaths stopped as your eyes landed immediately on Dean and you held your breath as your heart shattered. He was sitting at the bar, leaning nonchalantly on the marble surface facing some incredibly attractive young woman in evening wear who was running her fingers up his arm. He was laughing at something she had said and his eyes twinkled. He looked so happy and as she leaned in closer, whispering something in his ear you saw that signature smirk of his that you knew meant trouble for whichever woman was on the receiving end. You had seen it time and time again but never aimed at you. Pressing the button to your floor the doors closed and you let out a desperate sob before once more pulling yourself together. Why had you ever thought you could do this?

The blonde had been flirting with him for the past twenty minutes and he had politely played along, hell, what man wouldn’t, but when she leaned in and whispered some very explicit thoughts he smirked at her. “Sorry darlin, I’m taken.” He lifted his hand, flashing her the ring and she raised an eyebrow.

“You sure about that honey?” she purred, running her hand up his thigh. Dean took her hand in his and stopped her going any further and fixed her with a sure gaze.

“I love her.” And with that, she shrugged.

“Your loss.” She turned away in search of another target and a predatory smile fell across her lips as she saw Jenkins sitting alone in a booth across the bar. Shaking his head Dean chuckled to himself before ordering another drink.

“Well handled.” An authoritative voice startled him and he turned to see his boss take the seat next to him, ordering a large whiskey. “You didn’t lead her on and you didn’t embarrass her either. After the holidays I want to talk to you about a new position. I’ll have Wendy set up an appointment. Merry Christmas son.” The elderly gentleman picked up his drink and patted Dean on his shoulder before walking away. For once, thought Dean, everything was working out.

 

“I just can’t believe you left me asleep while you disappeared off to talk to some girl.” You huffed as you carefully placed the last of your things in your overnight bag.

“You do realise we aren’t actually married right?” He smirked before turning to pick up a handful of clothes to throw into his bag.

“Oh, I am fully aware that all I am to you is some schmuck who’ll help you get a promotion.” You spat at him bitterly. The mixture of hurt and lack of sleep was a dangerous combination and every time he had unintentionally hurt you over the years came flooding back and right here, right now, you had had enough.

“I’m sorry? I don’t understand where all of this is coming from, I thought that we were fine.” Dean turned and looked at you in confusion. He had no idea why his simple comment had elicited such a forceful reaction from you.

“In what possible universe are we fine?” your voice managed to hit a frequency that you thought maybe only dogs could hear as disbelief flooded through you. How the hell could he think things were just back to how they had been before?

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit here?” He sighed and as soon as he did he closed his eyes, knowing his words were a mistake.

“Overreacting?” You could feel the tears welling up behind your eyes but you’d be damned if you let him see that. Fury coursed through you and you would rather use that than break down and give in to the heartache.

“You know what you signed up to Emma, I made no promises of any kind.” Dean shrugged callously, not even looking at you and you felt a sudden calm settle over you as you took in his words. At no point had he actually said that this was anything more than him using you to help get a promotion. Maybe you had read too much into this, it was possible that you were the one who overstepped the mark.

“No. No, you’re right.” You nodded, resigned as you picked up your bag.

“Where are you going?” His brow furrowed as he watched you move towards the door. His head raced as he panicked, his words had been cruel and it wasn’t as if he even meant them it was just self-preservation. 

“Anywhere but here.” You stopped by the door and taking the gold band from your finger placed it on the desk before leaving the room, ensuring the door slammed behind you. Dean sat on the edge of the bed and placed his head in his hands. He had everything he had ever wanted right there and he’d just let it walk right out of the door. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he always press the goddam self-destruct button anytime something good might possibly happen. He wanted to get up and follow you, wrap you in his arms and tell you that he wanted to take it all back but he knew the damage was already done so he just sat there and did nothing, just let it all slip away from him.

 

So here you were, sitting on your sofa sobbing into an extra large glass of wine from your second? third bottle? Eventually, you passed out, sprawled on the sofa at odd angles. Your dreams were haunted by those hypnotic green eyes and the feel of his lips against yours and an ache in your chest.

You woke up to a pounding sound and for a few minutes, you thought it was just your hangover kicking in before you realised there was someone hammering on your apartment door. “Hang on.” You mumbled in irritation as you stumbled towards the door. Pulling it open you froze as soon as you saw him standing there. Of course, it would be him, who else would be pounding on your door like that but sleep and excessive alcohol consumption kinda made it difficult for common sense to catch on. He barged past you and into your apartment before you could say anything. Running a hand down your face you took a deep breath and turned to face him which turned out to be a mistake. He was disheveled, his hair a mess as if he had spent all night running his hands through it and from the dark circles under his eyes that was an actual possibility. An uncomfortable silence fell as you closed the door and padded over to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry.” He began before words failed him. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted you to know but after what had been said he just didn’t know where to start.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Your voice was quiet and cold, almost as if it wasn’t your own. It was no longer a voice Dean recognised and it pained him to know he was the reason for such a drastic change in you.

“We can fix this. Come on this is me and you, there’s nothing can break us apart right?” Dean smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. They betrayed his true feelings which were far from the bright countenance of his lower face. 

“I… I don’t think this can be fixed.” As the words left your mouth you wished you could take them back. The pain in his eyes, it was as if you had stabbed him in the heart.

“Please, don’t say that.” He moved towards you and you backed away avoiding his gaze.

“We’re broken, Dean. Me and you, it can never be like it was, ever.” Your voice was so small and he found himself thinking how fragile you looked, like if he touched you then you would shatter into a million pieces. You poured yourself another drink. You were too hungover to deal with this right now and a hair of the dog might just be enough to take the edge off. He watched you take a liberal sip from the glass of wine and part of him wanted to just come clean and tell you how he felt, how he had always felt about you, what this weekend had just confirmed for him but he held back. He had hurt you, he didn’t deserve you.

“We’re not broken, just a little bent.” He smiled softly at you with a glimmer of hope mixed with the uncertainty in his eyes. “Nothing is as bad as it seems.” 

“I just…I can’t do this.” You sighed turning away from him. You couldn’t handle looking up at that beautifully broken man knowing what you now knew. For a few moments things had been truly perfect and now you knew how happy you could be it was so much worse knowing that it would never be.

“Please, tell me there is even the smallest chance you can… can learn to love me again.” He begged, grabbing your arm desperately. You turned and looked at him in sheer disbelief, a look which knocked what little confidence he might have had right out of him.

“You don’t get it, do you Dean?” your voice was soft, defeated as you finally knew that this was it. You didn’t have to learn to love him again, you had never stopped and that was the problem, you couldn’t keep putting yourself through this.

“I’m in love with you.” His voice barely more than a whisper as his eyes met yours, both of you rooted to the spot as the unshed tears you had both been holding back began to flow.


End file.
